It’s okay to feel both…

On this week of Thanksgiving, I want to take the time to first acknowledge that there may be a lot to be grateful for in 2020, but I also want to acknowledge that it’s not always easy to conjure up that feeling.

And that’s okay.

I also want to put it out there that you can hold two mutually exclusive feelings about life, your classroom, choices, or the world at the same time.  

To put it simply…it’s okay to feel both.

You can be grateful in one regard but absolutely angry in another.  

Your heart can be full of joy for a certain incident but disappointed at the outcome of something else.

So as you move into a few well deserved days off (I hope), take some time to just feel all the feels.  Feel whatever comes up.  Journal about it.  Write it down.  Savor some memories.  Burn the others that you want to let go of.

Take it all in.

Don’t push it away.

If you are feeling a bit happy, try not to let the guilt take over (if it does).

If you’re angry, try to be with it for a little, sometimes you’ll find the anger gives way to fear or disappointment.  Feel it and breathe.

And if you really can’t muster up the energy to sit in it.  Take a nap.  Take a walk.  Take a bath.  Listen to music.  Do what you need to do to take care of you.

When the doubt creeps in, welcome it like you would an old friend.

“Oh nice to see you {insert feeling, thought, emotion HERE}.  I was waiting for you to arrive.  Sit down, make yourself at home.  Have some tea.  We’re going to be here a little while.”

And when that thought fluctuates, follow its lead.  Become curious about the journey and let it take you where it will and give yourself permission to feel both.

So I’ll tell you where I’m at right now.  I feel gratitude for a healthy family, but I’m tired of the rollercoaster that is teaching during a pandemic.  I feel blessed that I have food on my table and heat in my home, but I’m angry that so many of my students may not.  

We can’t be everything to everybody all of the time.  But we can be somebody to some people some of the time.  Choose who the “somebodies” are going to be this week, and then pick some new ones next week.  But just make sure that once in a while that the “somebody” is you.

And please be reassured that it’s okay to feel both.  We need to feel both.  So here’s to feeling both this week.  The yin and the yang.  The soft and the hard.  The black and the white.  The clear and the shrouded.  

Have an insightful and restful week as you balance what you need to do for both your mental and physical well being.  Whatever that means for you.

To teaching well,

Danielle